With Jesus beside, before and behind

First published 30th March 2015

It's not easy but underneath it all I can keep an optimism. I'm working to try to give back a little of what I've received, especially to those whom society tends to ignore.

Coming to faith was for me a gradual process and despite me doing things I shouldnt. But from childhood I had to concede there was a god. I hadnt worked at Christianity but today I am a Christian. It was a slow bouncing back and forth.

John 3:16 - God so loved the world that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life. I remember seeing this on a wall in London and Ive come to realise that by believing your life changes.

Ive had low points in the throws of alcoholism, living only a semi-reality with sickness. I had no friends. I lived in a doss-house and had social anxiety disorder. I couldnt fight it but a power greater than myself came to my rescue. God did reveal himself to me as Jesus Christ and he has brought me back from death.

God has brought me healing. He may not have a cure but he gives me wholeness. He helps me with my mental health and in dealing with psychiatric disorders. He has brought me friends and support through the local church. The freedom that he has given me from alcoholism is wonderful. I have been given security.

Six years ago I was diagnosed with an incurable cancer and I'm going through chemotherapy with remission of one to seven years likely. That's not easy but underneath it all I can keep an optimism. I'm working to try to give back a little of what I've received, especially to those whom society tends to ignore.

I know I live my life with Jesus beside, before and behind me. I'm living by this prayer which I was given:

O Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, stay beside me to defend me, within me to guide me, before me to lead me, behind me to guard me, above me to bless me; that with you and in you, I may live and move and have my being for ever and ever. Amen.

Nick lives in a small town in the north-east corner of the Diocese and worships at the local church there

Contemplate now

What things do you find challenge the hope Christ gives of a life of wholeness?

Imagine utter bleakness; how would that change what God looks like to you?

Is God more present for you in good times or bad?

Meditate through the day

As Holy Week begins, consider in various moments that strike you through your day how Christ might have prepared for the end of His life on Good Friday.

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